Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
