First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
