The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
