I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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