And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So much Jack, so little girl.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
