GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
