He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I would ride that face into the sunset
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
