Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
