just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize