This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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