good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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