ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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