you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
