What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
