I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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