last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
