At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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