At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
