She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
