he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
