i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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