is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
