thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
