And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
