i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
