More tranny stories later!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
