new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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