doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
