dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
