Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
