btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
