I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
