Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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