You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
