Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
