Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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