cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
