id be glad to
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
