i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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