I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
