Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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