i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
