thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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