Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she pinky promised me she was 18
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
