i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
