bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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