So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
