So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize