Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
