i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
