I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
