So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
