We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
