What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
