I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
