My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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