dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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