It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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