woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
