I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
