i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
