Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will be naked everywhere
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
