I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
