I'm gonna have a badass scar
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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