He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm passing your future prison.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
