Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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