Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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