can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize