She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
