Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
