And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
